Friday, July 6, 2012

Image Laundering

The science of image laundering is far too complicated for the average person to comprehend; in fact most of us, stupefied by its amazing powers of transformation, see it as visual alchemy. How on earth could anyone have transmuted such soiled source material into this sterile antiseptic picture?

Before arriving at the final “man from glad” appearance, many years of dirt had to be carefully removed. John Charade began soiling himself as far back as 1990 while apprenticing under the notorious Brian Motelmoney, with the botched bribery of a Federal Judge. Since that time Charade has greatly crafted his dark art, engineering the corruption of an entire network of Judges and much of the financial infrastructure of government. All of that accumulated filth has been magically filtered out by Patronal Public Prevarication Inc. the image launderers hired to clean the Charade portrait, which can now be displayed publically without risk of offense or repulsion.

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